In “normal times”, as Helena refers to the pre-lockdown era, if the marketing executive felt uneasy about something at work, she would “share it with a colleague or check in with a deskmate”. Now she ruminates.
“You’re riddled with paranoia. If I don’t hear back from someone, I get worried.” Video conferencing is a poor substitute. “You’re missing all those social cues,” she says. “You are trying to see how everyone’s reacting?.?.?.?You dart your eyes across the screen to see how engaged they are. When people are joining calls they are probably still emailing. I leave a call and think, ‘Oh gosh, did I get my point across, did I lose that person?’”
Isolation, distrustful management, emails around the clock and the underlying fear of job cuts add up to paranoia. In the morning, she opens her smartphone and thinks, “Oh Christ, I’m awake. I should be online”.